This Is the End

That's just a title, not a statement. It refers to the fact that the Memorial Day weekend is an annual demarcation point between the conclusion of the Entertainment season and the onset of the summer doldrums. The networks have concluded their basic episodic schedule and are prepping summer replacement try-outs and previewing their fall premieres. They offer more of What Was Successful This Year (meaning supernatural dramas, gory procedurals and youth-oriented sitcoms). Send in the clones.

Last week, with a great collective exhalation from the viewers, all the Sweeps favorites climaxed with champions crowned or artificial cliffhangers. Even the game shows. "Jeopardy" broadcast a one-time-only Mega Tournament of Champions to showcase their 2004 star Ken Jennings, whose wondrous winning streak earned him valuable commercial endorsements and a chance to host his own Comedy Central game show, Ben Stein-style. Unfortunately he was bested by a Pennsylvanian clerk named Brad Rutter. Now will it be the Ken and Brad Show? Stay tuned. And "American Idol" culminated in the long-awaited but underwhelming victory of bland but dentally advantaged Carrie Underwood over Bo Bice. I rooted for Bo because his name rhymed precisely with the title of one of my blogs (see "No Dice," above). Winners all, actually, after all that exposure.

My two favorite episodic dramas concluded with highly-touted episodes, one rather successfully, the other disappointingly. "24," which had floundered a bit after its scintillating first weeks (shouldn't've killed off Dina, guys) recovered with a sufficiently entertaining finale that, for a change, didn't leave us mourning some beloved character. Sneakily one of the show's flaks had leaked false information that two regulars were going to die in the last hour, so I was already writing the obits for Michelle and Tony. Ha ha on me, they both survived, though shakily. And they swore they'd leave CTU and return to civilian life. Well, that ought to work until episode 7 or 8 next year when the desperate writers will call them back into the fray.

Jack didn't fare so well, losing his girl friend (no tragedy there, what a whiner), and having to fake his own death to avoid extradition to a Chinese prison and head out to Mexican exile until next January's Dreadful Day. His life is like an espionage version of "Brigadoon." In all it was the best, most focused season of "24." My biggest question remains why the terrorists launched their Iowa-based missile toward Los Angeles, which would take three hours to reach its target, rather than a Northeastern city, which could have been wiped out much more quickly and negated CTU's frantic efforts.

"Lost," a cleverly written conceit with more intersecting story lines than a Dostoevsky novel, pulled a few fast ones on its audience and left us all a little dissatisfied. It also benefitted by a false rumor regarding one of its newer characters, a whiny high-school teacher and self-proclaimed weapons expert played by Daniel Roebuck, of whom it was written that he would be a regular next year. He was even given a speech complaining about why he, as well as other extras populating the beach, were not being more fully involved. So just as I was acclimating myself to his presence he was, as John Candy used to put it on "SCTV," blowed up real good. From that point on the story degenerated to some penny-dreadful antics, including a baby kidnaped by the crazed Frenchwoman castaway (played nicely by Mila Furlan, who was the Mingari ambassador Delenn in "Babylon Five"); an unfortunate encounter by the raft crew, who were left bobbing in the ocean; and the final revelation of what was under the famous hatch. (Spoiler alert: it was an abyss).

I don't know--if I had a water cooler, I would not be discussing the plot elements all summer long. The show padded its two hours with more flashbacks of the characters pre-boarding the doomed plane. No great revelations therein. Sure, I'll watch come September. But stop fucking with me, J.J. All questions and no answers make "Lost" a lesser show.