Saving Phineas T. Bluster

I'm about to date myself again (and hey, what a cheap date I am). Let's hop onto the WayBack Machine about 50 years, to the Peanut Gallery hosted by Buffalo Bob and his freckled sidekick, Howdy Doody. For those impossibly ignorant of TV history, Howdy Doody was a popular marionette. There were others in the cast of characters, including humans Clarabell the Clown (first played by Bob Keeshan, formerly the first male cheerleader at my alma mater Forest Hills High School, and later Captain Kangaroo), and Princess SummerFallWinterSpring, who I believe either died prematurely in a traffic accident or appeared at an Oscar Ceremony to decline Marlon Brando's award. Among the puppet characters were Flub-a-Dub and Dilly Dally, two anthropomorphic animals, and Phineas T. Bluster, an erstwhile politician and the usual Heavy in any story lines.

It's only occurred to me recently that Phineas T. Bluster was a play on the word "Filibuster." A filibuster is a procedural strategy used by a minority party to dilly dally while trying to figure out howdy to deal with the doody piled up by the other party. This tactic has come under great scrutiny lately in D.C., where our Opposite-of-Progress has been considering Dubya's choices of right-wing justices to the Federal bench. The Dems want to use the filibuster to delay and frustrate the appointments. The Reps, led by Dr. Frist, put up their dukes and threatened to vote away the filibuster altogether--the "nuclear option." After a lof of posturing, the moderates got together for a compromise, permitting continued use of the filibuster, but allowing several of the selections to go directly to vote, where the majority will approve them. A lot of self-congratulation ensued, but like most compromises, very little satisfaction resulted, except for the rest of us uneasy about the unfelicitious phrase "nuclear option."

I'm kind of glad the Capitol has not been vaporized but I am not so gratified by the preservation of the filibuster. Unlike most of my liberal friends, who've been wringing their hands about the Senate's perfidy, I'm wondering what is so damn great about the Big Stall as a legislative tool. It has no other purpose besides obstructionism. In my historical memory I associate the filibuster with some unseemly antics, such as Southern senators trying to torpedo civil rights legislation in the 1960s; the successful Republican attempt to undo LBJ's appointment of Abe Fortas as Chief Justice (let's face it, it was because he was a Jew); and more Republican efforts to halt judicial appointments by Clinton in the '90s. The only time I can recall a filibuster being used for the General Good was by Jimmy Stewart in Frank Capra's "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington." And even there, the filibuster nearly killed him. Also, it was make-believe.

I'm not alone among moderates who don't revere the filibuster as Parliamentarily productive. Even the liberal Los Angeles Times bemoaned the compromise, seeing the filibuster as a rather odious means to an end, even if the end in this case was preferable to the Democrats. The sad fact is that this is a tool used by both sides in the eternal liberal-conservative struggle, and either side decrying its use is hypocritical. (There--stop the presses, politicians are hypocrites!) I happen to think its existence is a glitch in our legislative system, real baloney of which the Founding Fathers would be heartily ashamed. To me it's the equivalent of a baseball team walking off the field in the fourth inning because they're hopelessly behind and maybe they'll call off the game.

Sure I am unhappy with the reactionary judges Dubya's lackeys have foisted on him, but he is the President (for real this time), and it's tough shit on us Dems that he has a majority support in the Opposite-of-Progress. Maybe we could have convinced more of our Ohio and Florida friends to go out and vote in 2004, or even better, persuaded Democratic party leaders to proffer a more formidable campaign strategy. Now the only battle we have left is the Big One for the next supreme court justice(s), and yippee, the filibuster could conceivably reappear there. And so could the nuclear option.

Now that I've had my say on the filibuster, don't get me started on gerrymandering.