Who Let the Dogs Out?

Well we know that that's one song title that will not be heard this fall in Atlanta, or wherever Michael Vick may or may not be playing. He was recently cited--or indicted--for contributing to a dog-fighting ring for which losing animals pay the ultimate price by being electrocuted or hung. Of course this is not the only wanton cruelty practiced on canines by our wonderful species. Dog-racing, though comparatively tame, usually end in the premature deaths of greyhounds who quickly age out of competitions.

Still, the nastiness of the snarling pit-bull subculture surely merits the opprobrium most caring people would attribute to Vick and his compatriots. I am not a PETA fanatic but I am anti-hunting and certainly against any form of animal cruelty. How Vick should be punished is virgin territory for the NFL, whose entire nature is sublimated gladiatorial combat and therefore beholden to the reptilian undersides of our consciousness. In a way it would almost be hypocritical to ban or suspend this asshole when other players are to be lauded for their viciousness toward other players. I'd still like to see him locked up and pitted against other inmates, just so he knows what it's like. Make the punishment fit the crime, as The Mikado sings.

In the coincidentally named dog days of summer, a lot of media attention has gone to the nether side of athletics, those players--and officials--whose errors and sins have besmirched their sports. An NBA official was recently charged with betting on games in which he officiated. I am no anti-gambling fanatic but even I see where this is beyond the pale, even beyond anything Pete Rose may have managed. And then there is the ongoing Barry Bonds controversy concerning his alleged, and very likely, steroid use which bulked him up and contributed to his massive power surge that followed the 1998 baseball season, when McGwire and Sosa broke way past Maris's record, thanks to questionable intakes of their own. The steroid issue is ongoing and fairly tedious, since we all expect that many many players used them, hitters and pitchers alike, before they were specifically banned. And all the players, save for Jason Giambi, have denied it.

For a player to admit to steroid use is like a politician advocating higher taxes. It's a no-go, even if we assume it's true. So the media is filled with unbelievable denials and we all get irate and then sanctimonious. We start to detest Barry Bonds, who was a sure Hall of Famer long before steroid use, and could well have hit 700 homers without ever injecting the stuff. Mark McGwire is not thought to be worthy of the Hall of Fame because he refused to fess up. Sammy Sosa, he with 600 homers, is questionable for the great baseball honor. This is all rather a shame, because they all deserve it a lot more than Craig Biggio, who may make it because of the arbitrarily honored feat of getting 3000 hits.

A few years down the road, all things being equal, Alex Rodriguez, then of the Angels or Red Sox or whoever, will bypass whatever ultimate number Bonds rings up, and since Arod, for all the negative hype, seems drug-free, we will be able to relax again. While ESPN shifts over to every Barry Bonds at bat now, it is neglecting some other notable milestones, most specifically Arod's 500th homer, which could come at any time, even tonight. His onslaught on home runs records is more notable because he is reaching his goals relatively early. Only injury or disaster should prevent his ascendancy, and then we can wait for Ryan Howard.

Slicko

I like Michael Moore, really I do, or at least I appreciate what he does. The country needs a loud, strident spokesman for the left, to counterbalance all the horrendous blowhards like Limbaugh and Hannity and Coulter, who have done so much harm to our nation. I thought Moore made compelling cases in his last two advocate-documentaries ("advomentaries?"), "Bowling for Columbine" and "Fahrenheit 911," even if neither achieved its respective goal, a reconsideration of our gun-control laws, or the removal of the asshole Bush from office.

But with "Sicko," his latest inquiry, Moore is even less likely to initiate the reform he advocates, which is to overhaul the health-delivery system in America and replace it with a nationalized system of free health care, as exists in Canada and Europe. His methodology in this film is to show anecdotal evidence of the abuses of the American health-care system, mostly perpetrated by profiteering insurance companies, and compare them to the ease of accessibility of citizens in Canada, France and Cuba.

Now this is laudable, and certainly health care is high on the priorities of the American citizenry and the politicians trying to guide us. Hillary, Barack, Schwarzeneggar and maybe some of the Republican midgets are all trying to seek some consensus solution. None of them is strong enough to fight the insurance industry, whose deep pockets they need to help finance their campaigns. That is one of the problems whose solutions are skirted by Moore.

Another is his selective editing. Sure there are nightmare scenarios of people whose legitimate needs are denied by heartless insurance bureaucrats. Moore specifically solicited horror stories on the Internet. But he could just as easily have solicited stories of compassion and medical success in our country, and found incidents of horrendous malfeasance across the Atlantic and around Havana. I have a relative who found herself in a Cuban hospital after spraining her ankle, and they didn't have sufficient ice to keep the swelling down. Moore never mentions that. On the other hand, I had a terrible allergy attack once while visiting London, and received free medical evaluation and prescription drugs, and was enchanted. Everyone has a different story.

After a laudatory tour of a French hospital, Moore shoehorns into his narration the Great Problem--how do they finance universally free health care? Well, "The French are awash in taxes." Then the subject is dropped. Well, duh. Yeah. So how do we establish free health-care delivery in this country? Why, we'd have to Raise Taxes. A lot. Try to get a Democrat to the right of John Edwards to suggest anything like that, much less a Republican, to the taxophobic public in America who thinks it is already overtaxed, although its rate is half what it would be in Euro-land. Moore needed to elaborate on how that awareness could bring about the transition he espouses. Without dealing with the 800-pound gorilla in the room, his essay is idealistic and not practical.

Who knows? Perhaps a tax revision as simple as eliminating the medical deduction may produce enough extra tax revenue to finance this kind of massive health reform. That, though, would be taxing the rich to finance everybody, an Apostasy during the Republican era, and one that even the Democrats would eschew, since they need Rich People's campaign contributions. Of course, if our campaigns were publically sponsored to the extent that ads on TV were gratis, this would negate the need for massive campaign contributions and the corruption that underlies that. I guess that this could be an appropriate subject for Moore's next documentary, one that will ultimately be as fruitless as this one.

New York, New York

Around 1 A.M. last Thursday morning the insistent hum and ringing that suffused the New York, New York casino in Las Vegas was interrupted by the putt...putt...putt of a series of gunshots. They were fired by a woebegone white middle-aged man with, well, issues, who stood at the entry balcony and aimed vaguely at some anonymous gamblers whose luck, from a given perspective, was either terrific or terrible. A few folks were hit, none seriously, and the gunman was wrestled down by some bold bystanders who definitely ought to be comped the next time they visit.

So ended the July 4th celebration that fell midweek in our nation's gaming capital. It was of some significance to me because I had just been there as early as that morning, and had driven away after an agreeable three-day visit. I was never endangered by the shooter, since it is my policy to avoid casinos named after cities, where I never do well (New York, Paris). The weather was horrendous, unless you like eternal sauna, and perhaps it was the heat that drove the gunman over the edge of whatever despair was consuming him. That the perpetrator was caught without doing major harm, and will be suitably punished with, I bet, a 40-year prison term, is somewhat comforting. But I can't shake the feeling that this is not going to be the only violent incident in that venue. In fact, there had been some gunshots exchanged a few weeks ago at the Frontier, I believe, and there are occasional robbery attempts. But when I witness the massive crowds flocking the Strip and the all the casinos, where entry is apparently unguarded, I ponder fearfully on how much of a luscious terrorist target this place happens to be.

In Showtime's lurid and exciting series "Sleeper Cell," the most "successful" terrorist blows herself up at a Las Vegas gathering of veterans, killing over 500 people. Not that so awful an event is likely to occur, but I will never forget that Chris Carter's "Lone Gunman" show foretold the World Trade Center attacks quite accurately. There are few arenas in the world that crowd so many persons in so tight a space as a Las Vegas Casino. Security is pretty tight, I'm sure--at least TV's "Las Vegas" suggests so--and it's a good thing that the garages are located at suitable distances from where most of the players congregate, which would minimize bomb casualties. But nothing can prevent the solo asssassin to commit the kind of carnage that our New York visitor attempted. I guess luck did play a hand.

One perverse reason that terrorists may be abstaining from a Las Vegas attack is that the town can offer them a source of financing that is not easy to get otherwise. (Caution: I am about to make racist statements). I have occasionally sat at gaming tables where other players were of Arab origin, including this week, when I played "Three-Card poker" at a table with an ornery and humorless Arab couple. (I know he was humorless because I mentioned aloud how he and I were both wearing identical baseball caps, and though he understood, did not crack a smile.) Although I like to pretend I am without prejudice, I really really wanted him to lose, lest (in my most paranoid expectations) he use the funds to buy some explosives for his cell mates. And I can't forget that right before the 9/11 attacks, several of the terrorists enjoyed a stopover in Vegas for some gaming and womanizing. Wonder that the Quran says about that?

While my luck at New York, New York has been dismal, the casino itself has been lucky enough to avoid some major misfortunes, including the quick resolution of a potentially disastrous incident. Even moreso, it benefited by a remarkably prescient decision not to include the World Trade Center in its massive skyscraper melange that dominates its edifice. After 9/11 there was a relatively tasteful display of flowers and testimonials along the entranceway, but the owners were surely thanking the architect for not putting the casino in the position of having the tear down that painful reminder of our nation's worst moment, while film and TV producers were scrambling to airbrush images of the WTC out of their backgrounds.

In pleasanter news, though, the theme of New York, New York will be becoming more dominant as the news year proceeds, with the two leading Presidential candidates coming from the Empire state, as well as a potential Independent in New York's successful Mayor Bloomberg. Not to mention the upcoming World Series victory by the New York Mets, on which I placed a wager right before I left town. Okay, the Yankees aren't going to be involved, and I will be slightly bummed, but Gotham is on the rise.