The Year I Actually Watched the Emmys

It's been 22 years since I last watched the Emmy telecast. And that year I only watched (or rather "taped") the event because I was in attendance, having actually earned a nomination. When I got home to watch the program--after not winning--I only asked the Unseen Showbiz God that my name be spelled correctly if it was displayed onscreen. It was displayed. Incorrectly. So I haven't watched since.

It's not that I don't appreciate the TV awards show. In fact, I am one of those people who actually votes, year after year. But after screening and rescreening so many episodes, all of which I had already seen during the fall or spring, I usually suffer from video exhaustion. Just like the years I worked in my local polling place for 15 hours and couldn't devote one iota of interest in the actual election returns of the evening. But yesterday a neighbor asked to watch the show with me, so I politely acquiesced.

Usually the only awards shows I can tolerate are the Oscars, for their marquis value, and the Tonys, for a taste of the New York theater. But to my surprise this Emmy show was up to them if not in epic scope, then in pace and wit. In fact, the whole program was cleverly and carefully scripted, especially the quickie intros of the winners as they climbed to the podium.

For the two categories in which I voted--I'm not supposed to be more specific publicly--I chose the winner each time. (Hint: I went with the favorite). This did not make me feel particularly smug, though it did afford me the right to yell at the TV screen "You're welcome!" the two times the executive producer accepted his award and did not mention me on stage.

But I'm not bitter.

I appreciated the pacing of the show, which kept it at precisely three hours. Various thoughts: all the winners were given their proper due without lingering. The only exception was Matthew Weiner's snarky reaction to being cut short in one of his speeches. I have a feeling he is not a wonderful person. Temple Grandin's sincere enthusiasm was amusing and touching. I realized how much I was going to miss "Lost" when they showed Hurley--I mean Jorge Garcia--joining the "Glee" opening number. I wondered about the absence of Chris Lloyd, co-creator of "Modern Family" and the only current writing winner I'd ever worked with. Especially when the annual Death Reel included his legendary father, David Lloyd, who scripted "Chuckles Bites the Dust" on the Mary Tyler Moore Show. I also cringed at the applause-o-meter reactions to each dead person as their face appeared. Please withhold your reactions to the end, folks!

And then there was Betty White, looking great in her front-row placement, though by now we kind of expect a throne, or the Kennedy Center Honors. She was amusing as ever in the opening sequence, and managed to avoid an awkward standing ovation possibility by having her Emmy win for SNL awarded last week. I don't mean to sound snide here. Full disclosure, I have had the experience of working with her a couple of decades back, and I recall her as being funny and tart and professional, close to her public persona. My two major memories are of her graciously coming to congratulate me after a successful taping of one of my shows; also, of a less successful table reading at which I was impressed at how hard she tried to make the material funny. The number of quality people I have known in Hollywood I can count on one hand, and she's one of the fingers.

Add to these qualities her dedicated work for animal causes, and I find her National Aggrandizement quite edifying and cheery. Rather the way George Burns was celebrated in his latter years. And what's also remarkable is that you will not be able to find anyone who disagrees. In this contentious and polarized national climate, her late success is a phenomenon which every American--aw shit, everyone everywhere-- can unanimously applaud. Someone 88 can be pretty and smart and active. How cool is that. And she is still funny.

So I guess this is one time a standing ovation--rather than the de rigeur, stuttering audience rise for Ubermensch George Clooney--would actually not be an embarrassment.

But for the actual awards, come Friday I will have no recollection of who won.