Post-Irony Edition

It's now been a week since the election, and it's time to exhale. It's still hard to comprehend that this time, thank goodness, desperation triumphed over bigotry (although both won out in California). As I continue to depressurize from my immersion in the political blogs and the constant MSNBC talk fests--and before the harsh realities actually confront this more honorable administration--there are a few final observations and judgments from this tiny speck in the blogosphere.

Barack Obama: Whatever happens to him from now on, he's a major American historical figure. It's rare that we can recognize that so early in someone who actually has no achievement yet (unlike, say momentary heroes like Lindbergh and Armstong). His campaign was brilliant in its zen discipline. Obama is a very impressive guy, but is probably not as good as his campaign; nor will his administration be. But that's only because Obama cannot control world events as he could the tenor of his campaign.

John McCain: Much better than his campaign, which was a horrible botch because he was running against his own instincts and could not reconcile the effort with any ease. That accounts for all the grimaces in his podium appearances. I loved his gaffes, especially "My fellow prisoners" and "I hear your congressman has been saying bad things about Western Pennsylvania, and I couldn't agree more." He will wiggle out of the bad election vibes, though, and devote his time admirably to his senatorial duties, preserving his reputation as an American hero with no potential stain of catastrophic failure attached, as would likely have happened had he won. So he'll be in the company of Henry Clay, William Jennings Bryan, Robert Taft, Hubert Humphrey and Hillary Clinton. Could be worse. And there are all those appearances on SNL.

Sarah Palin: Speaking of appearances, suddenly she's all over the nets trying to salvage her reputation as she unsubtly suggests her presidential candidacy two years before any other Republican. If she were really smart (instead of just media savvy) she would go into Alaskan seclusion, do a good job, read up on history, geography and constitutional law, and let the freakazoids on the Right come panting for her in 2011. Sometimes I feel sorry for her; I think the press was correct in vetting her, but the brouhaha over the clothes was a little excessive and actually the kind of petty personal sniping that was more the modus operandi of the Republicans. Okay, tit for tat. Pun intended.

Joe Biden: What a good choice. Salty, avuncular, and trustworthy. He's someone whom the country can rely on in case of an Obaman tragedy, but in the meantime can contribute benignly to the foreign policy sensibilities of Obama (unlike the demonic Cheney). And if he is subject to gaffes, they will keep in him colorful, and occasionally they will be memorable. He was, lest we forget, utterer of the best campaign line of 2008, regarding Giuliani ("noun, verb and 9/11"). He's the only Joe in a sea of Joes who survived the campaign with my admiration.

Joe/Sam the Plumber: God, I hate this asshole. Someday it may be clearly established that he was a Republican plant, although his conversation with Barack that brought him into prominence was civil and informative. Somehow, perhaps because Obama carelessly dropped in the phrase "share the wealth", the desperate McCain staff found the embodiment of its anti-tax dogma and tried to create a cultural icon. McCain needed a whole lot of blue collar cred after the 7 houses/13 cars fiasco. Of course the lack of vetting again revealed McCain's impulsiveness, and when it was revealed that Joe was not a Joe, nor a plumber, nor a contractor, but a welfare recipient and a tax scofflaw, McCain could have done better than to refer to Joe as his role model. Thankfully Joe will struggle to survive the month as a public figure, unless SNL invites him. And then he'll really get what he deserves.

Nate Silver: Who? Why, the creator of Fivethirtyeight.com, the best of a whole collection of polling websites that pretty accurately foretold the election results. The Uber-nerd Nate Silver is also an overachiever, having developed the PECOTA system for predicting baseball statistics, and is therefore a god in the Rotisserie World. The PECOTA system was too arcane for me, and I'm pretty good in that arena; likewise his statistical models are very complex, but seem to work quite well. I guess Nate has found something to fill in the gaps when he's not getting laid.

The Phillies: Oh yeah, congrats. Unfortunately no one was watching. And that Philadelphia weather! Build a dome!