No Business Like It

There has been so much in the political campaign to write about that I have been tripping over my thoughts to finally get here. The overwhelming sense that I have now is that the arenas of politics and show business have become so intertwined that the most important political vehicle is Saturday Night Live, and that Tina Fey is a significant historical figure with probably more sway than her doppelganger Sarah Palin.

I could write so many blogs for every issue in this bizarre year. For instance, Republican campaign hypocrisy. For every charge made against Obama (and there are remarkably few against good ol' Joe Biden), there is a skeleton in the closet of either McCain or Sarah Alaska. For Ayers there is Palin's secessionist friends (and husband, let's not forget); for Rezko there is Keating; for the Reverend Wright there's Sarah's witch-hunting Zulu priest. Definitely a wash in terms of guilt-by-association, although the public airing of such nonsense is the only campaign strategy left for the Republicans, who, according to MSNBC (not the most objective source, but still), are airing 100% negative ads. The Obamites are going about 1/3 negative, about as much as Barack can stand without losing his ethical advantage.

But what has struck me in all of this wildly important and involving campaign is its entertainment value. Obviously, much of the pomp and circumstance of the conventions was pointed show business. From Barack's classical backdrop in Mile High Stadium to McCain's weird-looking green screen, the set decorators have had as much to do with the projections of their candidates as the spin doctors. And the choice of musical accompaniment has become politicized as well, with McCain's groups constantly usurping theme songs from uncredited and unsupportive musical groups.

But what has engaged me more than anything is my conception of the Sarah Palin story as something quintessentially American. Do I mean the rise of a small-town girl to prominence, as a female Horatio Alger? No, not exactly. I mean, her life is the perfect scenario for the Great American Musical."Suddenly Sarah," or something like it.

Combine elements of "Fiorello!" and "Evita" and you may start to see my idea. But there has rarely been a short life story whose characters and elements lend themselves so perfectly to quintessential musical comedy moments. You can begin with Sarah's Act I song of desire, sung on the even of one of her high school basketball matches, where the "Barracuda" yearns for something more than the admiration of the twenty-two other members of her class. Then have her do a duet with Todd as the Dude who wins her heart. Segue to her musical performance at the Miss Alaska pageant and her surprise defeat, which only girds her for further achievement--but not until she has her brood of kids (is there a "Do-Re-Mi" song there, about shooting moose? Kill a deer, a female deer.)

Another number can be written for her decision to run for mayor or governor. And then, of course, the great duet between her and McCain (okay, mostly McCain's song), when he decides on first glance that She is the One. This could be the First Act curtain--unless she responds with something to the tune of "I'll Never Blink Again."

There will be other subplots, of course, such as her daughter's pregnancy and the reluctant suitor who is forced to marry her. Or the mean Trooper who, like Poor Judd in "Oklahoma," threatens the peaceful existence of the Palin clan. Then we bring on the excitement of Sarah's RNC speech, "I said Thanks, but No Thanks". Maybe then a montage of the interviews the evil media (all dressed in demonic costumes designed by Julie Taymor), "In What Respect, Charley?" or "Katy, I Can See Russia?" or a snippet from her debate, "Can I Call You Joe?"

Yes, even with the exposure on SNL (to which Palin will, eventually, accede to in a smart campaign move), someone somewhere has to be creating a musical to celebrate this very odd candidacy. The troubling thing is, we are likely to see "Suddenly Sarah 2" in 2012. Unless the country regains its sanity, Sarah is ousted from her political seat, and actually gets to play herself on Broadway. I'd like that.