Breathtaking Inanity

This title may become my favorite expression of the year. It was uttered, or rather, released in a court ruling Monday by Federal Judge John Jones III (apparently njo relation to Bob Jones of the University). The reference was to the stance of the Dover, Pa. school board in trying to insinuate a recognition of "Intelligent Design" into the science curriculum of its secondary schools. The suit was brought by concerned parents (yes, thank goodness, this species does still exist) who challenged the school boards supernaturalist position. The Judge, he a conservative and religious--but not a religious conservative--correctly viewed the ID stance as veiled creationsim and religious posturing, inappropriate for public schools, if fitting for religious discussion. To say otherwise is breathtakingly inane. I could not have put it more eloquently!

Interestingly, the point was rather moot, because the parents had already voted the reactionary school board out of office and eighty-sixed the "Intelligent Design" language from its syllabus. But, as we know, the legal process is slow and laborious, and in this case involved dramatic testimonies from both sides of the question, in a redux of the Scopes trial without the star power of Darrow or Bryant. One of the plaintiff's lawyers argues that to attribute Creation vaguely to an intelligent source was no more or less valid than attributing the Red Sox victory over the Yankees in 2004 to a God who just got fed up with George Steinbrenner. Though I am, in my baseball sympathies, uncomfortable with that analogy, and on some level would like to blame God or the Devil, I am glad that this whimsical point helped make the case.

Which takes me, in this unlikely segue, to another piece of good news, unrelated to the Culture Wars but relevant to the Yankee-Red Sox rivalry. Yesterday the Yanks, who had been moribund in the Hot Stove league, suddenly swooped down and took Johnny Damon from the Red Sox to place him in the cavernous Yankee Stadium center field for the next four years. He will now lead off a line-up and be followed, in probable order, by Jeter, Arod, Sheffield, Matsui, Giambi, Posada, Bernie Williams/DH, and Robinson Cano. That's a lot of offense, and it ought to be a lively year in the Bronx, so long as the Yanks don't start off as appallingly as they did last year. Damon is a decent center fielder, does not have a great arm, but does have good speed and a nice left-handed stroke that will work well in Yankee Stadium. I am sure that George Steinbrenner remembers how Damon's two homers, including a Grand Slam, killed the Yanks in the last game of the 2004 ALCS (although he was practically hitless in the first five games). The Yankee front office has spent most of this century gathering post-season Yankee killers into their rosters. I thought this trend had been reversed when they traded way Tony Womack, which was their best post-season move up to this point. They are looking strong for 2006, but they still have to remember how to win in the post-season, a knack that all this talent has failed to muster.

But even more significantly for the short-term, they have dealt the Red Sox a crushing blow. Damon generated a lot of offense and scored a lot of runs in front of Ortiz and Manny Ramirez. He will be difficult to replace. For the step the Sox took picking up Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell from the Marlins, this is a step backward, and Beantown must be seething. Well at least they can look at New York now, crippled by a transit strike, and get a little schadenfreude. But come April it will be hard for Sox fans to watch their favorite Idiot in pinstripes. What I'd like to know is how The Intelligent Creator could have permitted this to happen, after giving the Sox their big break in 2004? Or is such a question simply breathtakingly inane?