Goodbye to All That, or New Lang Syne

As I've stated before, this has been the best year of the decade for me, especially the last six month, which were replete with winnings up and down. Aside from me and Brian Cashman (and James Cameron) it may not have worked out for everyone else, but every dog has his day. Speaking of this stupid decade, I have been referring to it as the "Oughts," though it rightfully should be spelled the "Aughts," as though anyone ever uses that word in normal conversation. I aught to know better.

A few stray thoughts to end the year with, as I glide very low-key through the New Year's period:

1. The best movie of the decade may have been the last one I saw. James Cameron's "Avatar," which I approached with high expectations due to the months of hype, actually met those expectations. Though its story is derivative and predictable, the experience of watching, with or without the 3D augmentation, is breathtaking. The thought and detail that goes into every frame is remarkable--I kept on wondering what the next visual thrill would be. And it's not just in the imagined scenic world he projects, which is of course beautiful. But even in the quotidian scenes of workers in a lab with their computer screens, the imagery is eye-popping. This is visionary filmmaking in every sense of the word. I'm going back to see it next week, on an even bigger screen.

2. The best TV comedy of the year is not "Modern Family," which is agreeable but burdened by the "Office" contrivance of a mockumentary that allows characters to speak directly to the camera to reveal their thoughts, rather than act them out in dialogue. The honor goes to ABC's "Better Off Ted," which is fast-paced and hilarious. In its cynicism it is like "Arrested Development," only exponentially funnier. The actors manage the broad comedy turns very deftly. I hope it maintains an audience, though.

3. The hullabaloo over the Christmas near-bombing of the Detroit-bound airliner reflects our nation's continued overstated obsession with terrorism--the enduring angst of the decade. Not that we shouldn't be vigilant. Not that this asshole shouldn't have been stopped in Amsterdam. But what is the scorecard here? One person was able to sneak through the barriers, and in such a restricted way that he was unable to actually detonate his payload. Just like the shoe bomber. No one was killed. The perpetrator was arrested.

Janet Napolitano's original p.r. statement that the "system worked" was obviously bogus, but she was woman enough to retract it the next day. You see, Democrats can actually admit to mistakes. But George W. is still probably maintaining that Brownie did a good job. Now of course the Republicans are trying to have everyone in the Obama administration fired over the incident, even though the system was implemented by their guy, and the Dutch and Ugandans were the lax agents.

But what's most inane was the overreaction of the TSA and its instant implementation of new rules to protect us form such a similar incident, including keeping everyone stuck in his seat, with no access to electronics, personal luggage, or the bathroom for the final hour of a flight--simply because setting off the explosives in the last hour was this jerk's plan. Did it occur to any of the TSA functionaries that an explosive can be set off at any point during a flight--and that the 9/11 attackers perpetrated their evil in the first hour?

I don't mind walking through a body scanner before my next flight, but I'll be damned if I have to sit like a Tibetan monk in a trance for 60 minutes while the flight attendants police the aisles. So once again, by making our lives that much more stressful, the terrorists win, even without harming a fly.

4. Why are there no New Year's Eve songs, except for the obvious "Auld Lang Syne"? That ditty is 250 years old and not sounding any fresher. It seems to me that this would be a good area for a contest, or at least a skit on SNL.