Juror's Prudence

Well, the Pope died (TV is now All Pope All the Time), and the Yankees beat the Red Sox (and won again today, two in a row, six fucking months too late). I care nothing about the former and a tiny bit about the latter. Which reminds me of the "shocking" statement I once made at a dinner party that baseball was more important to me than religion. Still holds, though I think now my dog takes precedence over both.

Which leads me in absolutely no logical sequence to this week's major topic, which is how I managed to avoid jury duty while coming this close to having to spend over a month in one of the world's most tedious civil cases. Now I am not one to shirk my civic duty, and I always dutifully obey my summons, since it's usually no hardship for me to appear. I've sat on one trial, acting even as the Foreman, so I take this duty seriously. I assume the odds are somehwat against my being selected, and usually even greater against my being kept, as my professional credits usually red flag me into some dismissal.

So Monday I arrived, red-eyed, at 7:30 at the downtown SuperiorCourt building near the gaudy Disney Hall. There was an orientation video and a few desultory remarks by a visiting judge. His speech concluded with the words "so that government by the people, of the people and for the people shall not perish from the Earth." This was very catchy and I bet, to most of those present, sounded rather original. Within an hour my name was selected to join a panel, and fifteen minutes later, in the courtroom, I was chosen as Juror # 5 in the aforesaid civil case.

The case itself was a lawsuit concerning alleged airline maintenance malpractice. I was neutral about the subject matter, being about as mechanically inclined as a Gabor Sister, but I was willing to try to sit in fair judgment. The attorneys were very deliberate in questioning the jury, and found themselves frustrated by many potentials who had no command whatever of English. (Hey the voter rolls, whence come the jury lists, do not designate language of origin). I was singularly amused by the efforts of one lawyer, a benign chap hopelessly enmeshed linguistically in Legalese, try to speak in simple terms to an Iranian woman. He asked her if she believed corporations as well as people had the right to legal redress. "Corporation? What is that" she stammered. "Well," he tried to explain, "a corporation is an entity...." She looked blank. "It's an entity on its own." I nearly slapped my forehead in V-8 exasperation. "Entity???" I mouthed. The judge, at that point, called a recess for lunch. I explained what a corporation was to the woman, using the synonym "business," but in her case it was moot, for she was excused.

As technical and tiresome as the case promised to be, I was willing, almost eager to become involved, because the trial process is rather interesting. But then the Judge dropped the Bomb that the trial would last at least through the month of April. What? An audible gasp came from the juror box. Hands went up all over. Some poor folks simply could not endure four weeks without compensation. In my case, I have an East Coast trip in a few weeks that would have been seriously imperiled, and, well, Mom is not going to be available that much longer. This was a point I made very distinctly, but not well enough to earn my own dismissal. So I had to return again today.

More attorney questioning today brought out the point that I am currently involved myself in two lawsuits--one as a named defendant in a frivolous homeowner's suit from last year regarding mold remediation, and another (for which I am one of many plaintiffs) involving the sale of fraudulent bonds. I also made a few carping comments about how overly litigious our society had become (a cause other jurors agreed with), and perhaps most jarringly, said that I agreed with jury nullification, under certain circumstances. Despite my strong opinions it did not seem that I would be excused, because the jury needed some members who spoke fluent English and were educated enough to understand some of the technical language to be bandied about for a month. Yet miraculously, after this morning's session, my name was listed among six others who were allowed to depart.

I felt a twinge of regret, because I'd have liked to participate and exercise my rational judgment--but this particularly trial promised to be very obnoxious, so I'm far better off without it, and now have my life (and trip) returned to me. But I am considering applying to be on a Grand Jury, which would be both voluntary and reasonably compensated. In my secular world view, if I can't be a sanctimonious acolyte of the Almighty, I can certainly practice actively useful citizenship.