Absolute Power

I've never been the President of anything, and never had the desire to be. I was once the de facto show runner on a sitcom for about an hour, after the executive producers and co-supervising producer quit, and the surge of adrenalin that dominant position gave me was hardly heady. I suppose I never craved the stress of leadership, or the responsibility, or the screwed-up priorities that such a role entails.

Which leads me to several examples of persons in power who are not quite clear on the concept of restraint and responsible exercise of said position. For instance, there is a Superior Court judge who works in the same building where last month I briefly served jury duty of sorts. It seems he was presiding over the jury selection process in an attempted-murder trial, when one of the jury candidates emitted a loud, gesticulatory yawn that briefly interrupted the proceedings. The judge asked the juror why he yawned, and the juror replied that he was bored--at which point the judge testily fined him $1000. The juror balked, and was taken to a holding room for several hours, where he was finally allowed to leave with a fine of merely $100.

In the realm of judicial activism this is perhaps less heinous than Bush v. Gore, but it still seems highly unfair. Okay, perhaps the juror was a jerk. Besides making him the perfect candidate for the jury, that should not cost him such an amount--especially considering how yawn-inducing the experience is, and that he probably gave up a day's salary to fulfill his civic duty. More than 40% of those called do not even respond, so I think the judge should have exercised a little more restraint and consideration. But he couldn't resist slamming tha gavel and reminding everybody who's the boss.

Then there's old George Steinbrenner, about whom I've always had mixed feelings. As imperious as Donald Trump (without the arm candy), he has roared and roared in his role as UberYankee. His overbearing interference has had mixed results, and he's clearly an asshole, but his passionate devotion to buiding a juggernaut has at least resulted in many successful seasons and six world championships during his reign. This last week, after the Yankees were blown out embarrassingly in Baltimore, George lambasted the team as underperforming slugs. He was right of course, although two weeks do not a season make. The immediate result after his diatribe was a 13-run inning against Tampa Bay leading to an eventual 19-8 win. 19-8, incidentally, was the score of the last post-season game the Yankees won against Boston, before their historic collapse. That kind of romp is indicative of a trashy team, one that can't save some of those runs for when they're needed, such asyesterday's game, when they lost despite pitching Randy Johnson. George's legions are going to hear a lot from him this year, as he realizes he has overspent for veterans no longer suitably motivated. Whatever his bluster, they are under contract--contracts he insisted upon. Oops.

Then, finally, there is Pope Benedict (as opposed to Paul Benedict, who played the doorman on "The Jeffersons"). He was just elected by the College of Cardinals. (Why the Cardinals? Why not the Pirates or the Cubs? Who did Larry Walker vote for? And Albert Pujols?) The winner is this German guy who served in the Hitler Youth during World War II, despite what the spin doctors say was his family's opposition to the Nazi regime. I don't know whether to give him a pass on that--he was only a kid. But from what I read about him, he is a pretty intractable conservative chosen to direct this retrograde institution into the 21st century. I can't see where his leadership is going to improve the lot of civilization. In fact, his major targets are creeping secularism and moral relativism, both to which I heartily subscribe. So if he is going to battle freedom of choice, rationalism and population control, the only way I can aptly respond is to say Popie, sieg heil, and up your heinie.